What wasting away is

I am the embodiment of wasting away~

mwaha.. cos mostly what im doing nowadays is sitting in fron of this compooter and mess around with games, email, chat, and file modding. its good and all to do stuff like this i suppose, but thing is im a little clueless on the current events, you woulda thought i would go read the news or something since ive got internet access.

oh but nooo~ im one of those ignorance is bliss people, dad said it right when he says to me "you're not inquisitve" which is kinda right. i ate a bowl of porridge, when there was already one made ready for me, which was covered by a plate, yknow to keep the contamination out. so the bowl sits there for ages, while i eat a different halping of porridge, not realizing if i just lifted the damn plate off the bowl, i woulda found my lunch anyway..

yes, otherwise, aside from sitting doing virtually nothing for hours on end, i also sit around surrounded by M&Ms and chips (or as the britons call it 'crisps.' go britain --" ) so not only do i waste away in front of my compooter, im also a couch potatoe what with all the foodstuff im surrounded in.

so that makes me a festering couch potato with a complete lack of interest in the world around me.

gee..

but who cares, im happy. i figured id get fat or something, but my metabolism is one of those retardo 'lets do stuff to make this poor guy as thin as humanly possible' kinds. so im still kinda thin.. sigh. need to go back to the gym. but thats ok, im happy.

oh the stuff that kinda takes the happy happy joy joy element out of it is the fact that ive got chem and math and english and physics stuff to do.. oh well..

well, im thankful to have all this crap to worry about though. at least i know im going somewhere. hehe. im listening to 'Do what you want' by Ok Go. awesome song. really addictive. i like the beat~

aha!! you've wasted even more time reading this pointless post!

well, yeah i love you too then hehehe~

anyhoo, take it easy,

LateR
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Yknow, this is just a winge, but if you want to read it, go ahead. you wont find sh*t nothing interesting here.

either way, my friend had a surprise birthday party the other day. last saturday, aactually. thing is, im cool with the guy, and his girlfriend is supposedly my best friend. which, unfortunately, was a naive thought on my part. i wasnt invited. yeah whatever, lame, sad, pathetic, you name it, whatever, screw you if you think like that, cos you're a dumbass too.

geezes, honestly, cant even make the gawdamn call, just ask, at the very least? as opposed to leave me out? i sound like a some girl having a cry about missing the prom or some crap similar to that, but this is something else, you know, i mean, everyone i considered close was there. for fucks sake, my best friend was there with all my supposed close buddies celebrating her boyfriends birthday party! for chrissakes at least TELL me that you're having the motherfucking thing ay? wtf is that just leaving me out of all this? i find this shit out 5 fucking days after it motherfucking happens.

its complete bullfuckingshit the way i was left out of this. what? now im too much of a loser to go to someones house? now im just some idiot whom you want not to hang out?? is my loser aura going to dampen your mood? good fuck, at least have half the decency to tell me that you're having it, its not like im gonna crash the fucking thing, as opposed to you lot, who just turn up on anyones fucking doorstep and walk in as if you bought the whole gawdamn motherfucking place.

i mean seriously, is there not an ounce of courtesy in your fucking bones? TELL ME. shit. good lot of 'friends' you are. i bet you bitch behind my back, too. gawdamn it. shit, since im swearing my head off, gawdamn you too, bloody friends. shit, no wonder i pick my friends carefully. hell, im gonna be even more careful with who i pick in the future. i mean, i chose carefully, and i end up with you?? fuck, my standards must be really low.

Japan, place of technological wonder. oh, so polite they are. well, obviously the asshole who wrote that didnt understand anything he wrote. what a naive assbag.

Cant wait til i ditch this fucking country.

whatever.
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Sports Day

Well, sports day was today~

im really tired so im just gonna make this quick.

We get to pick which sport we wanna do - socca, basket, hockey or volleyball. then we proceed accordingly to our team colors.

then we play in a tourney style ladder, with points and all. i forget what the points are so yeah.

So i was in socca. And also in blue team. we played the other teams, red greeen and yellow (actually, its north south east and west, higashi minami kita and nishi <-- thats not in the right order i dont think), with girls and boys divided into their own leagues. the thing lasted about 5 hours~ish of 20 minute games.

So we played, and we kinda tied 2 games, won one game, and lost the final against the green team. which is ghey, cos i swear that one goal counted (dammit).

anyway, so i did my homework in the computer lab afterward (against my will), where one of my classmates (i think she doenst like me now, and im pretty sure why but cant really bring myself to talk to her yet), and her friend were doing some work.

So i got nothing done in all of an hour, except find out i had more work than i thought, and climbed the stairs to get it - where i got a stich just climbing the stairs at a ridiculously slow rate (either im tired, or out of shape.. pick one). As i left with one of my friends, we saw another lot (good socca players, they are) and we walked down the hill in a bunch of us.

I saw crepe and was starving like a.. like a..
And i was starving.

So i reached into my pocket and discovered that my wallet wasnt in my back pocket, where it normally is. so i decided to pass on the crepe (which i regret now, cos i had coins) and ran home (which i regret now, cos im in some serious pain from sports day now). i was on the verge of complete panic, when my mum mentioned something heavy in my pant pocket of one of my pants hanging in my wonderful and pretty room ("clean up this mess!"). So i reached for the pair indicated, and found my glorious Versace wallet in my back pocket, and then i remembered that i used this pair of pants yesterday, for school.

So thats it for pants, i guess.

Oh, and i was so tired from sports day and running like nuts home that i couldnt figure out whether i washed my hair yet, so i did it a second time. I realized that i had already washed my hair only after i did it a second time. then i had a chat with my mummers.

then i kinda plopped myself down in front of the compooter and started writing this random stuff.

Ok im done tk care LateR
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My day

Edit; This was started on thursday, so elements and details of friday might trickle in, as i finished it on friday.
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Im gonna be like every other blogger in the whole wide world who starts a blog, im going to tell you my day. its not one of those mundane "i woke up and took a shower and went to school" crap. Well it is, but its a little more exciting than that, but not by much. Ill try to make it as interesting as i can.



So before i even opened my eyes, i woke up to the yells and screams of my mum, as she charged into the room making a big hooha about the horrible mess that was my cozy lil room. I do imagine mum took special care to make sure that she yelled at me for my mountain of clothing on the hangar. So I kinda ducked under the covers to escape the noise, but mums motherly voice just came blasting through the pretty thick protection of my thick winter blanket like it was a piece of paper. So as i knew that i wasnt gonna escape the hell that just came blazing into my room, i dragged my lead body out of my bed. 'Boy, this was gonna be an exciting day,' i thought; 'If i know my luck, its only gonna get worse.'

I was right.

It was a freezing morning, and in my rush to get out of the house (to remove myself from angering my mother any further [and save myself]), i managed to shower, wolf down breakfast - which was my fav, coconut extract and something in a breakfast roll - which i choked on in my haste, and run out of the house. Unfortunately, as i mentioned, it was a freezing morning. And in all its glory, i only pulled on a single layered, long sleeve polo shirt, and my kinda loose~ish fitting jeans (and underpants, for all those who seem to think that i must describe everything, else it be obscene). So as i left the door, i yanked my backpack along with me out the door as i charged for the elevator, eager to leave the building.



Of course, as you know, i froze the heck out of myself, 'cos of the lousy temperatures and howling winds. but i was grumpy and moody as a walked along, fuming the entire time (for obvious reasons). The horrible mood helped to keep some of the heat in though, which was a little beneficial to me, or else i probably wouldnt have made it to school alive.

When i got to school, if anything, it got even colder inside (lets go outside and get warm). So that darkened my day a lot more. I spent the first two periods of chemistry figuring out what the heck the teacher was talking about, what with all the fancy schmancy jargon and terminology (and another word that im trying to think of, its on the tip of my tongue, i think it starts with con- or com-). There she was rambling on and on and on about 'rate constants' and 'the rate constand isnt really a constant, 'cos it depends on the temperature, but its still a constant' (<-- that one really confuzzled me, that did). So after my two periods of utter confusion, I sit for a Japanese test, one which i can say i probably scored better than half (thats a bad thing).
{Learn japanese fast; read it sideways, for the kids; dont.}

After that, i had recess, one recess, one of which i skippd my favourite honey stars, cos i had a physics test after the next period, which was english. Turns out i had some important meds with my recess food.. so i didnt take those, which resulted in my feeling sick in the stomach the rest of the day.

English class was disastrous, we had this thing where we had to discuss a section of the book we're doing (Metamorphosis, by Kafka), which i didnt contribute at all, cos was rushing my last minute review for the test (which didnt work, as i already knew, but i tried anyway). Dont do last minute review, kiddies. It doesnt work. By the end of class however, i had a massive need for the bathroom to which my glorious teacher, Ms Rivard, allowed me. So i tore down the hall to the bathroom, tripping along the way, but managing not to spill over flat out on the ground to look like some sort of loser-pansy-two-left-feet-retard (im a loser, and a retard, but not a pansy nor do i have two left feet, ive got butterfingers though).

Physics test went well... for the first 2 pages. there were about 7 pages to this whole thing. It was horrendous. in a best case scenario, i calculated my score about a little better than half, and i was already being generous with myself. So i'm doomed for that. Im going to need to work aawful hard on my physics to being my grade to decent levels again.



Things turned up a little after lunch, though. It was PE, and normally its pretty fun, if i didnt have an impending math exam the next day (which was okay for me, but everyone else said it was bad, so i think im sunk). So with the looming math test the next day, i played soccer.

It was all going good and jolly, and i was charging up the right wing, closing in on the goal, dribbling my way past the defense, which was pretty heavy, in a one man show. i was in my element. i found my zone. nothing but the ball, the goal, and these things in my way. I got past the last piece of defense and i saw myself an open goal, as the goalie was nowhere to be seen.

Then i found him.

He ran into me like a freight train. Well, more like i ran into him, really. But only 'cos he found his way in front of me. It was like driving one of those little smart cars into an eighteen-wheeler. plus, he was low, so i more or less flew over him (i run fast, and he was leaning to about the height of my knees). So i brought a bunch of scratches home with me that day.

I stayed back after school to do my work (and avoid going home). I went to a math review session for the math test which was happening the next day. Of course, in accordance to the prohecy, my bad luck held out just for me. One of the.. more outspoken (noisy) girls in my grade (ugh) whom i wont say whom (starts with an M ends in an O and has ARIK in between) required a lot of help (was retarded) from the teacher (hogging), which she had earlier mentioned that she didnt like people who hogged teachers (hypocrite).



Of course, not all of her qualities are bad. Shes actally quite nice... no.. she's quite interesting.. no.. she's.. no, nevermind.. she has a house that is 2 doors down from the school. Okay. thats all i can think of, thats good for her.

Anyway, i attended the fuitless review session and decided to go home (albeit reluctantly).

Staggering home in the slicing winter winds, i made my way home, immesurably happy about how the day developed. I say immesurably not because it was good or anything (as you can obviously tell) but because there wasnt a gawdamn bit of happiness to measure. i trudged home, gumpier than i had been for months. As i neared home, i walked past Family Mart, this convenience store. I thought id at least do something with my bad mood and try to lighten it, so i got myself a snickers peanut bar (i wanted taco flavoured potato chips, but that wasnt meant to be, as it was officially my bad day or something).

I still havent eaten the stupid thing. Its sitting here, next to me on a crappy

no nevermind. i cant find it anymore. i didnt eat it, that means its lost somewhere in the house (stinking Snickers bar).



So anyway, i make my way into the house, welcomed by my mum reminding me about how messy my room is. So that makes my joy of being alive skyrocket. because i love having the sheer amazingness of having a miserable day. You cant even imagine my joy.

Anyway, dinner was late because my daddums was attending a college workshop over at school (the most wonderful place on earth), so we ate first. I was at the computer just getting into a chat with someone close, when dad called me over, which although opened my eyes to my college situation, took time. In that time, my posted bedtime approached, limiting my talk time. So i got about all of 3 minutes to chat, and i had to go to bed (yes, witness the injustice, which is quite well deserved.. really.)

Not to mention this tic i have about picking at my (already horrendous) pimple problem, when i come under stress or exam conditions. I was more or less picking at my face all day, so i looked like i had gotten into a fight by the end of the day. Oh disgusting image, you say. but you imagine the worst tic you have, and apply it to yourself for an entire day. how would you feel, much less look? yes. i thought so.

Friday in a nutshell, so as not to bore you to death (if you're not dead already); i wake up to mothers yells (again), go to school, see a stupid poem read out with ridiculous music during assembly, get my only study hall of the week cut short, think my math test was ok when im proabbly sunk based on my peers assessment of the test, walk a million miles to the nearest "convenience" store for lunch, barely make it in time for economics, and get talked to death. i stay after school to talk to my teacher about my extended essay, and find out i have 3 weeks to find a decent lot of sources and a good, focused question.

{hows that for a focused question?}

A lot of time eh? no. im taking this weekend to deal with my college stuff. With all the crap thats going to happen within the next few weeks, i imagine minimum time to deal with my extended essay, which is all important, due to the implications if i fail (no diploma, two years of my life wasted, another two likely to follow).

I've got this theory; for everything bad, theres something equally good to counter it. like karma or the yin yang thing aye? yeah. im assuming one of two possible things;

- Since i had a blast during the spring break (kind of), the lousy crap is only catching up to me now (with interest, it seems)
- I'm having the worst damn time now, maybe in the next few days, itll get better (hope so, i think im overdue).



Selfish, mean, nasty, sarcastic, stupid, crabby, bitchy, call me what you will. I am who i am and no one will change that.



Kind of a sad thought, really.
--

Looks okay from here.

Well, we've left. all the work of our matches gone to waste; from 36th on the ladder, all the way up to 13th. and we left. so much time and effort put in, such a shame its all gone away. well, i suppose its not so bad. i've learned a lot from this (i dont know what those lessons are yet, but ill figure it out sooner or later).

It looks like we're going to be off on our own little clan for a while. its gonna be called TheNine or something. Its most of the =UnT= Elite Squad with the exception of Saladin, who decided to remain with UnT. well, im sorry, Sal.

I suppose it cant be all bad, much as i hate to leave UnT. But my loyalties are to Houtman and N3misis (particularly N3m). Since most of the late Elite squad has formed up on Houtman, it seems that we're still gonna be hangin' around together, in our own little squad. No big-man orginization to rule over us, you know? No higher power to watch over us and breathe down our necks. Itll be just Us, freelance. Almost like mercenaries, except we're not up for hire. At least, as far as i can tell. We'll just be us, like.. like.. a single faction, just us lot blasting the hell out of anything that gets in our way. Like i says to one of the guys the other day "Always been Elite, always will be elite."

^ That doesnt really count anymore, cos we're not Elite, but we're still the same. Just under a different name. It doesnt matter what our name is to me (it could be 'hout n n3ms lot' for all i care), its just who's in the squad. And the roster is still the same, so im comfortable with it.

Well, ill post more up here when i need to sort stuff out.

If you were reading this, i do imagine you've done one of two things;

-learned a little more about me and how i think or
-wasted about 5 minutes of your life.

anyway, take it easy, all.

LateR
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Leaving?

Well, i decided to post this here, since i doubt any of the =UnT= guys would read this.

Houtman (my squad leader) left the clan, which kinda stinks, considering hes a good shooter too. thing is, im joining him to wherever we may go (i know where we're going, but im just not allowed to say yet), and he's taken a bunch of us with him.

It kinda sucks butt, cos i've played with UnT for a long time now. well, ive decided to go with Hout. My loyalty has always been to n3m and hout, so thats where it will remain.

sigh. but i do hope it works out for the best. nothing like making a wrong decision..

LateR
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Kanamara Matsucho and my new amps.

So i went out to Kawasaki today, which was a nice trip. we went to this fertility feistival thing, which was interesting, to say the least. i might put up pictures sometime, but i might get this blog closed down for "graphic" or "obscene" imagery. Id tell you what i saw there, but im also a little uncomfortable with that. you know what? just go google the damn thing yourself. haha! im kidding, i googled the damn thing FOR you! its on wikipedia, but dont worry; its pretty accurate from what i understand about the festival.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanamara_Matsuri

its short, too. so you dont have to waste your precious time reading it (so why are you reading this, then?). well its fun, yes i saw the thing in the picture and ive got pictures (not of me though, i prefer to keep my dignity).

well after that, we went down to the station and we finally got my new acoustic guitar amps. ive been looking for a good one for about 2~4 months now. well, out of lack of choice of cheap speakers, we got this pretty awesome Crate Amplifier. the amp itself was good, but the price was a little on the high side. ni ju ni sen yen. yeah. its a little pricey.

but the thing is, its not the purchase that kinda annoys me, or the price. it was the consideration of the cash and stuff. i dunno, there was an issue with the cash and all, so the folks decided to haggle a lil. which im all for, if it wasnt in the formal establishment that we were in. personally, id haggle to within an inch of our lives (yes, mine and yours), but when it comes to places like this, id rather not do it. especially in japan aye. in malaysia it woulda been easier, besides they're really nice in japan, and i dont particularly feel like making their lives all tough and hard. and they're pretty earnest when they do their job.

i mean, can there just be a simple transaction of goods & services and money? like a;

Hi
Welcome!
Im looking for amplifiers for my guitar
Why sure, lets see what we've got.
*looking around and comparing stuff*
Well, im gonna go with this one
Oh yes, thats a good one, 'specially if you're only gonna play at home
Yeh thats what i thought
*credit card and charging and all that stuff*
Thank you!
Yeah, thanks a lot
Ill carry that to the entrance
Thanks
Come again!
LateR
(by the way, no matter how steriotypical it seems, its all true about japan, the guy was really helpful)

well, in any case, for me it was all good and jolly til we got to the "well im gonna go with this one" part. then all the haggling came in and i literally thought 'wtf,' with all the words put in. it was insane, why haggle in the middle of an established music store? just pay the damn money and be done with it!

i can understand if its somewhere else, but to me this kinda thing is tantamount to causing a scene. so there was a lot of "i dont believe you" and crap like that. it was just insane. i mean we got a lotta free crap, but thats beside the point; i dont like causing trouble for other people mostly cos its ghey. and its all cos of this obsession with money; i believe the principle (the excuse, more like) behind this mind-set is 'get your moneys worth.' But at the expense of others? if its a life or death situation i might understand (and i emphasize the 'might'), but over a set of guitar amps? no. not me. id rather not do that, its just not worth the stress thats caused to both parties.

even after we bought the amps, we took a train home. that would've been okay if the amps didnt weight 600tons or something. geezes, so it wasnt 600tons but it couldve BEEN 600tons for all that i care, it was heavy as f*&^ thats what it was (dont worry, i dont swear, hence the bleeping out). and i carried that all the gawdamn way home. it sucked. even as i type this post out my fingers are still burning. i mean, if we took a cab home, it woulda been much easier, faster, and definately less painful. i sound like some kid on a winge streak, maybe i am. but the thing is, it was the obsession with money that made me take that stupid train and walk a couple kilometers total, as opposed to a cab that could've dropped me off right in front of the apartment building.

this isnt a matter of comfort (although it plays a pretty big role, here --"), its more of the principle behind it. that 'lets not spend money cos if we save more, we have more.' so then that defeats the entire purpose of actually having the money. whats the point of having the stuff if you cant spend it? i mean definately have savings and fall back money and all. thing is why not spend? why stinge? whats the point? why would you suffer for seemingly ages, when the easy road is just a couple bucks away? sure the hard road 'builds character' and all that, but if its redundant, theres no point going on the hard road. its just dumb.

Either way when i grow up (physically and mentally, even though im a little doubtful about the mental maturation part) im gonna make sure i dont have this narrow-minded 'save money to have money' stingey mindset crap. its ridiculous. im gonna be generous with my money, yknow, buy that brother on the street a meal, and have a drink with the guy. that kinda thing. help the less fortunate.

"oh yes, very pleasant thoughts, dexta, but are you really going to?"

yeah be doubtful aye? its just cos you guys cant keep to your own word that you put others down before you even see what happens.

like, say i was talking to my friend the other night (yesterday, in fact). she refused to believe me when i told her id do something for her. hehe. i admit it was a little fantastical, but i swear im gonna do what i told her id do. do not doubt me, for i am amazing that way. haha~!

yeah. so that was my winge (pronounced win-j) of the day.

ill see if i can get some pictures up from the festival. the computer is acting up again..

LateR
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